It’s been a quarantine of feelings. The new year brought a breeze of hope, of a new start, but also the reality of not having Frida. We are back to work, Mark during the day, I resumed my night school teaching, and we both have missed Frida so much. She would be with me during the day, and she would be with Mark in the evenings, and then all of us would be together for the night. It’s been sad realizing those times are gone. We know we will be OK, and time will heal our saddened hearts.
Time, time, and a prayer. Since the beginning of this long process, praying has been a source of relief and support. Some of you might say What’s new with that? People pray all the time! But that’s not totally true. Being in touch with so many dog lovers who are struggling has made me realize how many of us at some point of our lives stop believing in the power of a prayer. I include myself there, as many years ago,at some time of my life I wasn’t so sure that I was being listened, or that my prayers were going to the right place. But this time it was so different. Since day one I prayed, because I trusted He was going to listen, and answer my prayer.
I remember so well that night before the surgery, when my poor Frida had a horrible diarrhea, and was in so discomfort that we basically spent the whole night in the living room. I took her outside so many times and my poor little one just jumped from one sofa to the other trying to find some comfort. I finally sat next to her, lighted a candle, and started praying. I just asked God that she would find some rest and comfort to get to the following morning, I put my hands on top of her, and prayed, and prayed. And little by little my Frida stopped her discomfort and could fall sleep for some hours before heading to the vet. Some might say it was just that she felt I was relaxed and that my relaxed energy calmed her down. It’s possible, but I couldn’t have done that without a stronger power, that was able to give me the inner peace I needed at that moment.
During the nine months that we fought Frida’s cancer there were so many prayers and positive thoughts. So many candles lighted for her, people I didn’t even know who prayed for her, for us. And so many others sending positive thoughts our way. I truly believe that we got as far as we got just because of all that energy, that healing Power. Of course that many times there were no prayers, sometimes I just felt discouraged, or so happy that I would forget. But I have tried to be better in that sense, and to thank for every moment we had and to ask with confidence for what I need. This time I chose to trust that God was listening, and that the power of a prayer goes beyond our human nature.
The last day, before we left home we prayed. A few group of friends and family knew what was happening and they were praying. We had our great friend Jen lighting a candle for us in Ireland.
On our way, which was a 10 minutes ride, Mark and I were feeling so overwhelmed. Frida was sitting on my lap, something that she never would like to do, but she sat there with me. She was shivering, I knew she was afraid. I started praying out loud, asking God to give us strength and to make her feel safe. And I started singing a song, Nada es imposible para ti (Nothing is Impossible for You) that has a very special meaning for me. The main choir says something like ” Why am I fearing, if there’s nothing impossible for you” I sang, all the verses I could remember, and hummed it for several minutes. My hands on Frida’s body, petting her. I will never forget how the car started filling with a peace and a serenity that I cannot describe. Frida stopped shivering, we arrived to the vet and Mark and I felt totally peaceful, calmed. After that I prayed one more time, when the technician was inserting the catheter it was taking a little bit of effort. I just prayed so many times “Please God, lead her hand, and let her find the vein, help Jen to do it” Frida didn’t move an inch during the whole time. I can totally say that God was with us all along the way, and that all my prayers were answered.
On the Facebook group for Dogs with Cancer, when people ask how they can feel better about their dog passing away, my answer is: pray, pray. And if they don’t pray, I pray for them. A beautiful lady, Diane, posts a prayer every night. I have thanked her so much for doing that. A prayer is powerful, is comforting. Some people say they don’t know how to pray. Well, it’s easy, just say what comes from your heart or repeat a traditional formula, like “Our Father”, “Hail Mary”, or the lyrics of an hymn or song. God or whatever superior power you believe in knows what’s in your heart. It doesn’t matter the communication media you use (prayer, song, reciting a psalm) as long as it comes from your heart. I like to light a candle too. It makes me feel comforted.
I know I should pray more. Usually we pray a lot when we are in times of trouble. But I guess it’s our human nature. I compare it to talking to my father. When everything is OK I call him once a week, maybe twice, or text him. When I’m in trouble and I need his support I text him or call him everyday, and he’s there for me. I should be better at praying and thanking for the blessings I have.
So this little mini schnauzer came to remind me of the power of a prayer, to remind me to trust in God and to make me more aware of my praying flaws. Wasn’t she a wonderful dog?
Thank you to everybody who prayed. I’m so grateful. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Your are in mine.
” For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18-20
A journey with Frida, our Schnauzer 